“我对你的想念，此刻特别强烈，我们如此遥远。”

<Dear Friend> -- 顺子

有些人就是可以用他的影子，影响着另一个人，无论时间多长，距离多远。即使消声匿迹、 毫无音讯，也以无固定形式而存在着。

有些人就是喜欢取其女性的专一和男性的长情来定期让身体流失水分以免脸孔看起来浮肿，让心脏接受捶击以免心脏机能衰竭。

当一开始想念，就会越来越强烈，直到相见、相谈，然后或因还愿而平静、或因失望而心死、或因不舍而再次想念。

一生中因为不断地取舍，我们越来越清楚自己所需要的；也因为取舍，我们错过了许多情感，失去了不少一直珍惜的。

常常很傻的认为，能在梦里遇见你想念的，是因为当你在想念着他的时候，他也刚好在那时正想念着你。

睡吧，也许可以见到你，你们。

继昨晚失眠，近日工作都坐立不安。回家的路上突然下起暴雨却一边出猛太阳，我觉得现在的环境很符合我心中的矛盾。

连昨晚的电话，不计我不熟悉的，这年头已经有四对结婚了。对上一个星期日，我参加了一个船上的婚礼。我的同事Francesco叹着气跟我说这个婚礼已经是他这个月的第三个了。当时我没有给什么反应他，因为我只想到以他的年龄身边当然会有很多朋友在结婚，我并没有真正体会到他当时的感受。昨晚的电话，忽然让我想到为什么那天他总是呆坐在甲板上。虽然那天的阳光与景色都为婚礼准备着完美的背景，但他坐在甲板上不是想享受阳光，不是想欣赏海景，而是想静静地缓和心中的苦涩。

我一直以为，好朋友总会在心中，即使不常见不常说话，也会感觉常在一起。

但原来当他们结婚了，你觉得心里不是滋味了，你才知道他们在你心里是多么的重要。

我当然为他们而高兴，因为他们已找到自己的幸福；但同时我会知道他们会或多或少地和我保持距离。我完全理解，你跟他是好朋友，不等于说她就必须要与你怎么样，然后每个人总要作出取舍。我明白，我与他们的相处方式是有作出调整的需要。只是我还没有想到怎样调整，还不知道我能否接受某种落差。

我抱紧他，试图寻找什么去掩盖心理的矛盾，试图寻找什么去替补心里的空洞。他问，为什么抱这么紧。想了想，沉默了，不知道应该怎样表达这种心情。"嘘~~~静静的就好了。"

（贴一下那天美丽的婚礼的相-Gordon&Sara Wedding，缓和一下气氛）

引述

早餐三部曲(转载)

　
　　一
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　她总是很轻很轻的把环在她腰间的他的手臂拿开，习惯性地在他唇上轻轻一吻，轻手轻脚的进洗澡间，把水流开到最小以减低它的音量，把衣服穿漂亮，头发梳整齐，脸蛋涂上他爱闻的香香。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　用电饭煲煮稀饭，用炒锅烧开水，煮面条，煎鸡蛋。托着好看的盘子，盘子里是好看的两个碗，将盘子放在床头柜上，俯下身，咬着他的耳朵低唤：“亲爱的，吃早餐了。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　他睁眼，把她拉倒在他的身上，用吻来表扬她。
　　两人一人一只手共同抬着盘子，他吃他的面条加鸡蛋，她吃她的稀饭加冰糖，头和头碰到一起，在吃的过程中还不忘记像小孩子那样啵一下。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　他偶尔也像她一样，很早很轻的起来，做好不同的两样早餐，拍着她的屁股说：“宝贝，吃早餐了。”她的眼睛就会一下子红透，把头钻进他的怀里撒娇：“亲爱的，你真好。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　二
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　他用屁股使劲的一顶她，嘟哝着说：“老婆，你该起床做早餐了。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　“你就知道叫我，你自己怎么不起床做早餐！”翻过身把腿压到他身上去，他用力的将她的腿推下去，嘀咕：“你越来越不贤惠，你是女人，我讨你做老婆干什么的啊？”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　“是老婆就该伺候你吗？没良心的家伙。”用脚使劲踢他一下，边斗嘴边腾的坐起来，很大力的从床上跳到地上，拖着鞋子噼噼啪啪去了洗澡间，把水开到最大，胡乱的擦了把脸。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　把电饭煲里加进水放进米，打开电视，看了一阵，大着声音喊：“老公，起来，吃早餐了。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　他穿着睡衣看着在餐桌前吃稀饭的披头散发的她，也坐下来，看着面前的碗说：“我说过很多次了，我不爱吃稀饭。”
　　“我爱吃，你不爱吃去外面买来吃好了。”
　　想发火，看她毫不在意的表情，也埋下头呼呼啦啦的喝。她笑：“不是不爱吃吗？你们男人就这样。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　他被她双手双脚的推下床，拖着鞋子噼噼啪啪的去洗手间，胡乱洗把脸，烧水煮面，煎鸡蛋就免了。然后很大声的喊：“老婆，吃早餐了。”
　　她用筷子在碗里乱搅：“我不爱吃面，我说过多少次了。”
　　“你可以自己去外面买来吃。”
　　举着筷子想敲他，还是埋下头，把大碗面条呼呼啦啦的吃下去。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　三
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　他细细簌簌的去了洗手间后，又回到卧室问：“老婆子，你腰痛好点没？”
　　“哎哟，还是疼，你帮我揉揉。”他边揉边说：“扭秧歌就扭秧歌嘛，还把腰扭了。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　“你上次不是嘛，打太极也扭了腰。”
　　他细细簌簌的走出去，倒了杯水进来，又细细簌簌的找到几片药，看着她吞下去。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　去了厨房，用电饭煲煮稀饭，把阳台上的花浇了浇，又伸胳膊伸腿的运动了一会。一个人在餐桌前默默吃了稀饭，拿着菜篮说：“稀饭在锅里，你想吃的时候就起来吃，我去买菜。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　她总是被他的呼噜声吵醒，喃喃的说：“老头子打呼噜越来越厉害了。”找出量压器，帮他量了血压，去厨房煮了面条，摇着他喊：“你怎么睡这么死？吃早餐了，面条放了就成整团了。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　两人默默的吃了面条，她提着菜篮子问：“你去不去？”
　　他接过她手里的菜篮说：“我们买了菜再陪你去染个头发，你白头发越来越多了。”
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　她笑：“老都老了，白就白吧。”

主因：看了阿诚篇《與琪哥精彩對話( for limited readers)》，内容有d抵死，突然手痕。

辅因：好耐无理过个space - 从“hair cut" 到现在，哇。。。一年多啦.........

案例1：

对得人，对得自己就得啦，又无杀人放火，使鬼甘紧张咩！

更何况，如果只在乎曾经拥有，那么分手与否根本不重要。

案例2：

有feel = 有好感。 好感 is because of 品味、喜好、态度、性格等等。

人无完人，却不断追求或在别人身上追求自己所缺少的，另一个角度说是“贪”。

有人说“大部分人会自然地与自己互补的人做朋友。”

所以对一个人有feel，只可以说明他/她欣赏对方且羡慕对方拥有自己缺少的，不能说明他/她觉得对方更适合自己。

按以上观点，这个问题根本不是问题。

案例3：

个事实可能是：一边埋怨一边享受。

一个愿打一打愿挨。众人皆醒，我独醉（愿挨的当事人）。

或者，只有这样愿挨的当事人才会感受到独有的幸福（不敢苟同，但不排除存在）。

所以，即是无问题，纯粹晒命。

“Women still aren’t taught how to function in competitive situations,” says Rimm. “We feel terribly sorry for girls when they lose, so they learn to feel terribly sorry for themselves, which makes them less resilient,” she says. “At the same time, we praise them effusively when they win, putting pressure on them to perform flawlessly to gain love and approval.”

But some women do get competition right – and enjoy the process. According to Rimm’s research, more than 40% of women who rate themselves as happy both personally and professionally named “winning in competition” as their most positive past experience. Honing your competitive instinct will help you improve your performance in any number of situations. Winning increases self-assurance, losing is just as valuable because you learn how to pick yourself up and try again. Here, 5 rules for facing competition with aplomb:

1. Compete Only when it counts.
2. Want the Win
3. Learn the Right Way to Lose
4. Play Fair
5. Accept Applause 

Compete only when it counts

Don’t get sidetracked by envy: Make sure the things you are competing for are the things that you value. If you covert your friend’s new Mini Cooper, pause before you race to the nearest dealership, consider: Is it the car you desire, or do you wish felt as happy and self-satisfied as she does? “Often it’s the latter, ask yourself: What would like make me feel that way? It may be something entirely different from what you’ve been envying.”

Want the Win

While this seems like a no-brainer, the reality, says Rimm, is that many women downplay their talents to avoid making others feel bad or resentful. “a big part of the female identity is caring for others, so women may have doubts, and even some shame, about putting self-enhancement first,” says Carole Oglesby, Ph.D., a sports psychology consultant as California State University at Northridge. Yet to achieve any goal, from sinking a basket to landing a client, you must be unambiguous about your desire to succeed, she says. Doubt can lead to hesitation, which can cause you to falter and ultimately fail if you are in a high-performance situation.

One of the benefits of competition is that going up against talented people often leads us to sharpen our skills and raise our own performance bar. Capitalise on that by thinking of your objective as “improve my personal best” rather than “kick her hurt”. According to Oglesby, research shows that taking this approach can make the contest more enjoyable by dampening anxiety and enhancing your focus, which means you’ll learn more from the experience. If you are vying with a colleague for your company’s top sales person slot, for example, don’t focus on beating her numbers: concentrate on bringing in 15% more business than you did last month or last year.

Learn the Right Way to Lose

Women tend to attribute their victories to luck or other external factors yet blame their failures on personal shortcoming, says Anna Fels, M.D.. Consequently, you may shy away from competition because any loss threatens your self-esteem. But the more you experience and rebound from disappointment, the more resilient you will become. Start by competing in situations where you don’t expect to win and that are not overly important to you, so any loss won’t be ego-crushing. If you have just started dabbing in photography, enter the community newspaper’s photo contest. Dust off that 12-speed bike in the garage and register for a charity bike race.

Play Fair

It sounds stereotypical, but studies show that some women tend toward covert competition – gossiping about, ostracizing and withholding information from those they perceive as professional or personal threats. For example, according to research by Judith Briles, Ph.D., 75% of women said they had been sabotaged by another woman in the workplace. What drives this tendency?” An increasingly competitive culture that nevertheless still tells women it’s inappropriate to compete openly for status or recognition,” says Briles.

You are more likely to default to sabotage when you don’t acknowledge, even to yourself, that you want in the game, sys Briles. For example, you will question the qualifications of a colleague who applies for a promotion without expressing your own interest in the position or undercut a woman who is flirting with your current crush when you don’t have the nerve to ask him to coffee.

If you find yourself treating someone unfairly behind the scenes, consider: Are you and she competing for power, position, or popularity? If so, admit it, inwardly at least, says Brils, and resolve not to engage in backstabbing. “Sabotage may be effective in the short term, but it usually comes back to roost,” says Briles. “If you get a reputation for being twofaced or undermining, no one is going to want to share confidences with you or keep you in the grapevine.” Indeed, more than a third of respondents in eight of Briles’s studies said they’d prefer not to work with women.

Accept Applause

Do you instinctively deflect praise for everything from your great fashion sense to snagging the corner office because you are afraid of being seen as having a big head? Get out of the habit. “Acknowledgment for the things you have accomplished is crucial to identity and self-worth,” says Dr. Fels. She suggests that you put yourself in a position to be praised. Identify your strengths and talent, then find places where they are likely to be valued. If you feel your skills are wasted or unappreciated on the job (or, if you are a stay-at-home mom, unappreciated by your toddler), put them to work for a volunteer, school or community group. Then accept, without apology, the kudos you score.

Granted, replacing a knee-jerk “it was nothing” with “thanks for noticing” will initially require conscious effort – and a willingness to override any consequent discomfort. But just being aware that, as women, we have difficulty accepting accolades can help, says Dr. Fels. Think of recognition as essential to your well-being-akin to proper nutrition and exercise and embrace your hard-won rewards.

This is article  to tell  u how to win  at  everything without  cutthroat. I found it is  benificial for our mental health with struggling in the real world.
Lamb M. 2006. "How to win at everyting". Fitness January 2006.pp98-101

Today is the day of meeting with Cris. Cris is my f who is also a blogger of blogcn. I forget when I became acquainted with Cris, only remember the reason of the acquaintance is our blogs. Due to the blog, we find that we are pleasing because of similarities in temperament, interests, value, etc. Emphasizing, it is similar, not the same.  We have never seen each other b4, but can exchange our own opinions freely, due to having a strong feeling that we can understand.

Today is our first time to meet, but she can recognize me, so can I. I am glad that we can meet in the same city outside China even though we r from diff. provinces of China. We talk a lot, and find that there is no diff. from what we expected. Couple of weeks later, she will go to Mel. Uni. for studying, we can not meet usually as staying in the same city, however, as she says Syd. is her first city in OZ and so she will come back again for sure. Also, Mel. is my favourite city so far and so I will go there in a short time for sure. Hence, it won’t be long to meet each other again.  

Finally, I must thanks for our acquaintance! Thanks for Pink Strawberry – Cris! 

First of all, I am very happy to find out these entertaining links from Jacky’s space. Actually, there are heaps in his space, but I only choose some I am very interested in and add in my space. They are:

1.小蝴蝶的飛行空間-- It is the space of Jimmy. Who is Jimmy? You must have heard of name of <地下铁>and <向左走，向右走> in the melodrama, the stage drama and the movie. If you are Jimmy’s fans, you would know more about his works. Jimmy who comes from Taiwan is the original author of these works. In addition, another website of Jimmy is Jimmy Spa, which contains detail info. about Jimmy, his works, his activities and his club.

2. Blog of 老徐 -- It is the space of Jinglei XU. She is my favourite actress. Have you watched the movie <A Letter from An Unknown Woman>? I have wacthed it for at least 5 times a... She is not only casting but also screen writing and directing this movie. Concerning this literary movie, I really like the background music which is composed by Osamu Kubota (Japaness) and Hai LIN.

3. Blog of 郭敬明— I don’t know him until I read his novel of <梦里花落知多少>, do nor have any idea what he looks like until I visit his blog. It surprised me a lot that he was so young as I can’t believe.

4. The Space Craft – This is the space of msn working team. It has much info. about the process of establishing and developing msn space, such as “Windows Media Player PowerToy". Also it provides links of other working team. I think it is interesting website for ppl who are interested in computer and Internet.

5. Bill Gate Home Page – Last one is the website of the well-known person who is the Chairman and Chief Software Architect for Microsoft. It provides Bill's biography, photos speech transcripts and essays from the past several years.

The list named “这么近那么远”(They are far from us, but we still can close to their life through the Internet) will be continuously updated once I find any interesting website.

Here I need to thx Jacky, thx for his space. I used the link without copyright payment. kaka~~~ thank you thank you….